Workplace Relationships

As Americans spend more and more time at work, work is increasingly becoming a place where people meet romantic and sexual partners.

There was a time – depicted quite vividly in teevee's MadMen – where the prototypical workplace liaison involved a powerful man using his power to coerce subordinate women into non-consensual (or otherwise highly coercive) workplace relationships. Thankfully during the 1980s and 1990s Americans developed a social awareness of the rampant problem of sexual harassment through events like the Clarence Thomas/Anita Hill hearings, the Bob Packwood affair, etc. In response, laws sprang up to punish wrongdoers and protect the victims of such harassment. And in turn, most workplaces now have sexual harassment policies designed to prevent sexual harassment and provide victims with a means of redress within the workplace. (The law has encouraged this by allowing employers to use such policies and their earnest implementation as a defense to lawsuits for money damages.) This transformation is a good and long overdue development.

In a context in which clear procedures are in place to protect victims of sexual harassment, other largely benign workplace relationships – truly consensual, non-coercive romantic and sexual relationships – can and do flourish. That's a good and natural thing. With people working long hours, often on matters that they care deeply about, one can only expect that the workplace would be a useful place to meet partners. So long as those relationships are truly mutual and do not disrupt the professionalism of the workplace they should be – and today largely are – tolerated generously. How many people do you know who met their life partners (or partners for a time) in the workplace?

Update: I see that Digby makes a similar point:

I am a big believer in sexual harassment laws and I know from personal experience that it's a difficult problem. But if [the cable teevee gasbags] are going to tell us now that any romantic or sexual relationships stemming from the workplace are harassment and therefore illegal, then I hope this country is ready to become a nation of monks and nuns. It is, after all, where most couples meet.

If it turns out that Letterman was coercing female employees into having sex with him, then I won't have any pity for him if he's sued. But the idea that anyone who has a romantic relationship with her boss is an unknowing victim is ridiculous. It infantilizes women and says they have no free will at all.

Every one of these people know bosses who have dated, had affairs, married their employees and vice versa. Many of them have done it themselves. The idea that they are shocked and dismayed by Letterman's revelation and "wondering" what the rules are is totally disingenuous.... Enough with the phony village moralizing, already.